valuable, but small.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small… 

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(Kathleen Kelly, You’ve Got Mail.)

This quote sums up my current inspiration for life right now. Valuable, but small. This is why I got off Facebook. This is why I’m saying no to most social events. This is why I cooked a salmon dinner for myself and then took a bath the other night.

Small. Still. Quiet. Peaceful.

These words define the desire I have for this season.

The world was starting to get too large, too unmanageable. Everything was spinning and I couldn’t keep up. Before Christmas I wrote in my diary, “It’s all too much. I need to make life smaller. I need to be able to scale it. Right now I’m drowning.”

I decided to slow down and smell the flowers (or, in my case, the “vanilla firewood” candle I got for Christmas.)

Scaling life down to a more manageable size has been fabulous. I say no to most social things, which makes the specific things I say yes to more meaningful. Lazy weekend mornings with roommates. Lunch with girlfriends. Dinner with my best friend & her husband.

I have 0% fomo. Like, I don’t even have to fight the fear of missing out. It’s just not there.

Instead, I have more space to read. To go on walks. To write in my diary. To write blogs. To sleep in on a rainy Saturday.

I love not being on Facebook. My life feels less cluttered. If I could I would get rid of email too…

I’m reminded of the list “What I Won’t Miss” Nora Ephron made before she died (…she wrote & directed You’ve Got Mail, btw):

What I Won’t Miss

Dry skin
Bad dinners like the one we went to last night
E-mail
Technology in general
My closet
Washing my hair
Bras
Funerals
Illness everywhere
Polls that show that 32 percent of the American people believe in creationism
Polls
Fox
The collapse of the dollar
Joe Lieberman
Clarence Thomas
Bar mitzvahs
Mammograms
Dead flowers
The sound of the vacuum cleaner
Bills
Emails. I know I already said it, but I want to emphasize it.
Small print
Panels on Women in Film
Taking off makeup every night.

And, because I love it, here’s her list of “What I Will Miss”:

What I Will Miss

My kids
Nick
Spring
Fall
Waffles
The concept of waffles
Bacon
A walk in the park
The idea of a walk in the park
Shakespeare in the Park
The bed
Reading in bed
Fireworks
Laughs
The view out the window
Twinkle lights
Butter
Dinner at home just the two of us
Dinner with friends
Dinner with friends in cities where none of us lives
Paris
Next year in Istanbul
Pride and Prejudice
The Christmas tree
Thanksgiving dinner
One for the table
The dogwood
Taking a bath
Coming over the bridge to Manhattan
Pie

She wrote the line about valuable, but small and I can tell by this list.

My counselor says I should go home more often, and I agree with her. Because I don’t know how long the people I’m surrounded by will be in my life. That leaves me a little unsettled. My family, however, is forever.

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Christmas Eve 2012

And so, as this new year & new season begin, I’m realigning my life. I’m coming back to center after letting myself get a bit off balance. I’m figuring out how to best invest my time and energy into things that matter in the long run.

I’m discovering the wonder of valuable, but small.

So far, so good.

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About Hope Naomi

Lover of all things tea and travel.
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4 Responses to valuable, but small.

  1. lauragamble421 says:

    I love the way you blog, the way you inspire others, and the way you live the way you want to regardless of what the world tells you differently. Thank you for being such a powerful woman who makes me want to live a better life!

  2. Bill Swan says:

    Look out, Hope’s on to something! I’ve got a podcast for you.

  3. marissa says:

    Crap. I just emailed you.

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