Being single is all I’ve ever known. And to be perfectly honest, I usually enjoy it. I’m never bitter on Valentine’s Day. I’m excited when yet another friend gets engaged or married. I try not to judge when couples sit on the same side of the booth.
The only time I become restless in my singleness is when I genuinely like someone. This doesn’t happen too often, but when I fall, I fall hard.
This time last year I liked a guy. I was crushed under the weight of the feelings I carried for him, because I knew “we” would never happen. Oh, how the yearning heart aches. On this exact day a year ago, I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw myself on my bed and scribbled out these words in my diary:
Remember when you were 19 and you were broken-hearted over yet another unrequited love? Just think of all that would have been lost if you had dated and married him. You wouldn’t have spent two summers working and playing at that camp in the mountains of California. Well, you might’ve, but your heart wouldn’t have been fully there. You would’ve been on the phone with him instead of watching the sun set.
You probably wouldn’t have had as much fun as you did in college. Think of all the activities you were involved in – playing ultimate frisbee, writing weekly columns for the student newspaper, emceeing Campus Crusade events, hanging out with fellow RAs or the residents on your floor, going on mini adventures with Chelsea and Jolie. Think of all the coffee dates you had, not to mention the parties and sleepovers. Remember how left out your friends in relationships were when they spent the weekend with their boyfriends? Well, that was never you.
Think about all the things you’ve done since you graduated college – India, Canada, road trips up and across the U.S., living in Nashville, going on the World Race and who even knows what’s next. You would not be so free to go to all the places or meet as many incredible people as you have if you were dating or married.
Consider all the work God has done in your life – remember when you didn’t want to be a Christian? Good thing you weren’t dating then. You have changed so much over the last few years – you’ve developed God’s beating heart for the poor, you’ve learned how to forgive, you’ve learned (and are still learning) how to put others before yourself. You needed to discover these things before you date – and you still have much more to learn.
Right now God is preparing you, molding you, creating you to be a beautiful woman. When you are ready God will present you to the man he is also preparing. Trust in God’s perfect timing, and in the meantime have some fun.
Travel, explore, making silly music videos, stay up late talking with the girls, ask questions, get in trouble, take pictures, go skinny dipping, read good books, go to movies by yourself, encourage others, love God, grow out your hair and get another tattoo, plan another road trip, try to get on a reality TV show, actually start writing a short story, a book, SOMETHING, be scared, laugh, learn and love.
This time of singleness is a very special time indeed. You have the rest of your life to hold someone’s hand, to kiss his lips, to split a foot-long sub from Subway with him, to talk during movies, to swap backrubs, to fall asleep on his shoulder, to laugh together and to love each other.
When that time comes you’ll hardly remember the occasional pain of being single. And remember, the longer you wait for something the better it will be. You are still so young.
So don’t waste your time pining for what will be one day. It will happen. Don’t waste your emotions on the boys you so easily crush on. Instead focus your attention on God, other people and opportunities to be had.
…and so, I’m doing just that.