Sometimes I make some pretty silly and slightly insignificant goals for myself, like wearing the same pair of socks for three days in a row or something. This past summer I made a goal to watch the movie Sweet November in November – cute, right? I realized almost too late that yesterday was the last day in November, so I threw on some slippers, ran out to my car into the pouring rain and picked it up from the library. Phew, that was close.
With only two hours left in November, I popped the DVD into my computer and watched Keanu Reeves transform from a busy, narcissistic businessman to a loving, thoughtful and kind man. Oh, the wonders a woman can do (…especially if you’re Charlize Theron, you know?)
This movie lures me in with it’s soft colors and character development. Gosh, I’m a sucker for character development. There’s this part when Keanu is standing on the street – he looks around and he realizes that he sees everything differently now. He notices details and people, and he appreciates it all. He runs upstairs and throws his cell phone and watch into a sink full of soapy water and asks Charlize to marry him. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil the ending for you (…like you even care.)
Sometimes when I’m watching romantic movies I scream at the screen IT DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN THAT WAY! or THIS IS NOT AN ACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF REAL LIFE!
Funny, I don’t seem to do that during action movies, like Spiderman or the Matrix. Though I wonder if that’s when guys need to check themselves (…I knew a few who should.)
But anyway. I think I’m finally past the whole Cinderella fairy tale ending, I’d just like a man who loves Jesus A WHOLE LOT and maybe even has a beard. A few years ago I was chatting with some single girls who were a good few years older than me – we were discussing what we wanted in a man. I said things like, “he must have brown hair and brown eyes and have big hands and be exactly five inches taller than me; he should wear t-shirts with jeans and a good hoody and he must like to read classic literature and have a mature understanding of the movie When Harry Met Sally; he should be into politics and play piano and appreciate the arts and go camping and enjoy mangoes and have the perfect combination of depth and humor. Also he should have a foreign accent.” My older girlfriends looked at me and laughed. “We’ve reached the point where we just want a man with two legs and all his teeth – anything else is a plus.” I was horrified.
But now I get it, I guess.
I don’t really know many guys these days, because I’m fasting from them. This basically means I run out of the room whenever I see one…ha. Kind of kidding, kind of not. But the other day this guy was across the room from me, and I only know about him because we haven’t talked much (the whole running out of the room thing usually prevents that from happening), but I looked at him and I thought, “I’d like him to be my husband.” It wasn’t necessarily an unrealistic, romantic fantasy as much as it was a practical thought. It was so simple in my mind that this guy has good character and we could serve well alongside each other – it just made sense. There were no butterflies in my stomach (or if there were, they were being smothered with a deathly force.)
Our future lives don’t seem likely to align, so I wondered… would it be okay for me to pray for this guy to be my husband one day? And this thought really stumped me. Because I don’t think I’ve ever wondered if something was “okay” to pray about or not. So I started asking around.
My family discussed it at dinner last night. My mom and dad were pro-praying about it, my 21-year-old brother, Philip, was not. My question quickly led into a heated and somewhat hilarious discussion about free will/presentation (…gotta love it!) And then I was thinking about how Christians are so weird, and if any of my non Christian friends were secretly watching this family dinner they would be FREAKED OUT. We were throwing Bible verses back and forth quicker than an auctioneer and using words like “arminianism” and “prevenient grace.”
(in the middle of all this my 13-year-old brother interrupted, “if those are mashed potatoes, and those are sweet potatoes – then shouldn’t they really be called sweet mashed potatoes?” He’s brilliant in his own way…)
Philip was so against the idea because he insisted that a person loses freedom whenever they are influenced. Meaning if I asked God to make it so this guy and I end up together, I am taking away that guy’s freedom. This turned into a joke where I told my brother that he was just worried that some girl was out there praying for him to be her husband, so that one day when he gets married he won’t know if it’s by his own will or not. He laughed nervously.
Then we all started poking fun at Philip, asking him to pass us the potatoes and after he did we said HAH WE JUST STOLE YOUR FREEDOM!! because we influenced him. We did this all night. At one point my mom said that she had prayed for my dad to be her husband, so I started calling my brother a “slave” child. Oh man it was fun.
ANYWAY. I’m writing all this to see what you guys think – is it a wise decision to pray for someone you hardly know to be your spouse one day? Or is that totally dumb and kind of freaky.