I’m happy. So happy.

I can’t pinpoint it, exactly. When I think back on the last few years of my life I’m reminded of a lot of good, but hard times. Joy intertwined with sorrow, laughter mixed with tears. And that’s mostly what life is, I suppose.

But right now life is good…and that’s it. No “but hard” tagged on the end. It’s just good.

In the past when I’ve experienced happy times I usually ruin them by wallowing in guilt. I punish myself for being happy, because why should I be happy when so many suffer? I figure I’ve done something wrong – somehow I’ve cheated the system. And surely karma will catch back up with me, so I’d better prepare for a crushing blow to my happiness. Life is supposed to be hard…right?

All I know is I’m learning how to be happy; I’m learning how to be loved. I’m allowing God to bless me. Before I accepted his love with my own strings attached – now I accept it freely. (Most of the time, anyway. I’m still in the process.) What I’ve discovered is that I desire to bless other people. Like, I really want to. I don’t just feel the need to. “We love because He first loved us” is starting to make sense. I can’t hold onto this love for myself – I want to share it with others. Take my car! Eat my food! Sleep in my bed! It was all a gift to me, so I want to share it with you.

My life isn’t perfect – I still have issues and I still want things out of my reach. But at the end of these days, I’m happy. And I don’t see it ending anytime soon.

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About Hope Naomi

Lover of all things tea and travel.
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3 Responses to

  1. marissavilla says:

    where were you when i was in georgia without a car? šŸ˜‰ just kidding. i had a couple of people tell me, “take my car!” a time or two and it was really great when they (shannon morgan) let me take it. i’m pretty sure the first time i took it i yelled out, “freeeedommm!” as i drove down dawsonville hwy.

    anyway, i’m so happy you’re happy. i want to talk to you soon, if possible. love youuu.

  2. Lindsay says:

    Love the idea of choosing to be happy.

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