It’s barely 8 p.m. and I’m struggling to stay awake. I’ve been like this all week – it’s pretty annoying. I was out of the country recently and my body is still jet lagged. The plus side is I wake up super early (well, super early for me) – which gives me time to drink a cup of tea and stare at the wall. Initially I told myself I was going to seize the day and exercise…but tea time has turned out to be so much more appealing. Go figure.
A lot has happened in the last month – I don’t even know where to begin. Or end…because life doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. And so the story goes.
I’ve been sleeping with my twinkle lights on the last few nights due to some recent nightmares. Sometimes I think about how nice it will be to have a husband by my side when I wake up scared in the middle of the night. And then I think about Unbreakable…Bruce Willis tells his wife he knew he didn’t love her anymore when he didn’t wake her up after having a bad dream. And then, at the end of the movie, he wakes her up and says “I had a bad dream.” I love that part.
What else is new.
We’re entering that exciting time of year when stores start playing Christmas music and everyone gets angry because of it. There’s the whole debate of does Christmas season start after Halloween or after Thanksgiving? No one really knows. Except maybe God…but rumor has it he wasn’t even really born until March, so. Yeah. In that case Christmas music is being played incredibly early.
Like most people, this time of year always fills me with anticipation. Three weeks from today is Thanksgiving and I’ll get to see my baby niece and nephew. Oh gosh, I’m one of those people now. The ones who are obsessed with their nieces and nephews. I never understood those people before. I was like, “They’re not your kids…what’s the big deal? No, really. What’s the big deal?” But then my sisters had babies and I found myself looking into their tiny faces and thinking, “If I had to, I would die for you. Right now – no questions asked.” I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like being a mom.
This week I found out that 3 of my friends are pregnant. Okay, well, one of them isn’t my friend – she just so happened to marry the guy I had a crush on in high school, whom I haven’t talked to since graduating. The second girl is someone I used to be close with, and the last girl is one of my kindred spirits from high school. Together with her and two other friends we formed our own Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Now she’s pregnant, which makes half of the Sisterhood mothers. Pretty soon we’ll be the Ya-Ya Motherhood. Well…not pretty soon. But one day.
Whenever another one of my friends gets married or pregnant it makes me evaluate my life a little bit. I don’t doubt I’m on the road I’m supposed to be on, the road I want to be on – I wouldn’t have it any other way. But still, it’s weird to think that I’m so far removed from some of the milestones my friends are experiencing. What scares me is how quickly I might catch up…a few people in my community just got married to people they weren’t even dating this time last year. WHAT. And my sister was unexpectedly pregnant during her first year of marriage. WHAT. So I could be married and pregnant this time next year…freaky? Definitely. (For the record I don’t think that will be the case – I’ll probably be one of those people who has a boyfriend for 5 years or something.)
Anyway. I’ll leave you with this quote I recently read in a book,
“The more you love someone, he came to think, the harder it is to tell them. It surprised him that strangers didn’t stop each other on the street to say I love you.” (Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated.)
Goodnight (but really it’s morning now.) I fell asleep before I could finish this post. And now there’s an empty cup of tea by my side – the sun has yet to rise. It’s going to be a good day…