Time hasn’t existed for me the last few months. When I try to think of what the date is my brain freezes. Is it January? June? September? I honestly have no idea. If someone were to take a picture of my brain it would look something like this:
I’ve been so completely absorbed in the present that time seems to have stopped. There is no past or future, there’s only the exact moment I’m experiencing. And I appreciate them all – the hard moments, the boring moments, the surprising ones. Each moment gradually flows into the next one, leaving me unaware of when one is beginning or ending. Life is fluid and beautiful.
In the last few weeks I’ve:
1) Read The Hunger Games trilogy (and consequently fell in love with yet another fictional character, dangit):
2) Saw The Phantom of the Opera in New York City during a 24-hour layover:
3) Went from sunny Central America to overcast Eastern Europe:
…I’ve switched from burritos to kebobs, buses to trains, cold showers to hot showers and a dirt floor to a bed (praise the LORD.) And my squad is currently in the process of switching from Mac, Caitlin and me as squad leaders to three new women we’ve raised up to take our place.
I guess time is passing by – all I know is that with every snort of laughter and each tear that falls I am fully in that moment and no where else. When I think about my life after the race I see it like a movie trailer – it feels removed, almost fake. I’m elated for what is in store, but at this point it seems so far away from where I am right now – my brain can’t wrap around the idea and I’m okay with that.