When I came back from the World Race two years ago I was particularly raw. I would drive around by myself as I belted Brandi Carlile at the top of my lungs – she was the only one who seemed to understand what I was going through.
The following spring I was on my bed in Nicaragua when I realized for the first time I wanted to get married. Not because of Hollywood and romance and sex, but because the world was spinning and I wanted someone to stand still with me. Brandi sang and I cried.
I’ve been listening to Brandi Carlile since college – she’s been with me through the ups and downs ever since. I’ve always wanted to see her in concert but it’s never worked out.
Until last night.
Last night my roommates and I drove to Atlanta to see Brandi live. Our seats were in the VERY FAR BACK on the grass because that’s all we could afford. I was just happy to be there.
During one of the opening acts a concert employee approached us and asked if we wanted closer seats…for free. Um, hell yes?
We went from the farthest back you could be to really good seats. I was in awe; I was in love. All I could think about was how romantic Jesus is – he knows exactly what to do to make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
This hasn’t been an easy season for me. It’s not exactly hard, but it’s not easy either. The other morning I woke up and wrote in my diary, “God, I NEED you today. I need need need you.” And then nothing happened. God didn’t break through my ceiling, swoop me up in his arms and carry me off to Narnia. Instead I went to work and ate hummus for lunch. Um, thanks?
God’s love is always extravagant – sometimes it’s obvious and sometimes it’s not.
Last night God went up and beyond – I could feel his love piercing my heart and flowing through my body. When Brandi sang “The Story” I stood up under the summer sky and belted each word, singing to God the entire time…
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you.