traveling solo: god’s grace.

As written in my diary…

I could cry for so many reasons. 1) I’m on my period and it’s been one of those sad, emotional PMS’s. 2) I’ve hardly been sleeping at night – partly due to insomnia, partly because people in my hostels are SO LOUD at 3 and 4 in the morning. 3) in some ways, this trip has been a disaster. Cold, rainy weather, train strikes, paying too much for horrible tourist food, getting lost, getting lost, getting lost. I feel like I’ve been frustrated most of the time with occasional interruptions of bliss. 4) God’s grace, God’s grace, God’s grace. He continues to overlook my bad attitude and spoil me instead. I look at rain and see a day lost in Rome – he shows me the rain ahead of time so I can plan to see the Colosseum in good weather. I’m bummed because I can’t take the tour I wanted – God spares me about $45 because he knows Rick Steves will get the job done. Also, I only waited in line for 20 minutes. God knows better – HE KNOWS BETTER! Last night when I discovered the forecasted weather I was stressed, depressed. As I lay in bed, practically panic-stricken, I heard the Lord speak…”Do you trust me? Trust me. I didn’t take you all the way to Rome to not see the Colosseum.” (at one point I worried I wouldn’t be able to see it at all because of the rain.) And this morning when I woke up he told me to take my time, to not rush because he had it under control. He did – of course he did. As I left the Colosseum I was so overcome by his grace – I knew I was being changed forever because of it. Sometimes we cross a line we can’t ever go back to – this is one of those times. This day, this trip. I’m experiencing his grace in new and profound ways. I was set back because I had to buy a coat; God was happy to provide me warmth in the form of a fashionable H&M product. I was flustered and frustrated because I missed the bus back to Florence; God knew I would still make it to the Academia with time to spare. Again and again and again I think I’m set back while the whole time God is pushing me forward. I’m in a sour mood – he still wants to be with me, surprise, spoil me. I know he’s doing this because of my relationship with him, but I can also hear him whisper this is how it’s going to be when I’m with a man, so get ready. I won’t deserve his love, I won’t be able to pay him back. He’ll always want to be with me – despite how selfless or selfish I am. My mindset is gradually changing – I’m believing once again that God is only only for me, he’s FOR ME. No, not once again – even more so. Hence why I’m being forever changed. He’s my protector and I’m actually getting to experience that because I’m in situations that make me cry “help me help me help me. You have to come through.” And of course, he always does. I missed out on some spectacular “firsts” in Rome (St. Peter’s Basillica, Piazza Navona) because I was freaking out about being lost. Instead, I should’ve looked around and taken in the view. When I saw those places the second time I felt silly for not appreciating them when I accidentally stumbled upon them. I’m learning, God I hope I’m learning. I have 3 days left in Italy and by God, they’re going to be great. (Even if it rains…)

photo  IMG_2402

Advertisements

About Hope Naomi

Lover of all things tea and travel.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to traveling solo: god’s grace.

  1. Alys Seay says:

    Hope, this is so beautiful.

  2. jillyfish87 says:

    Yes! Oh man. Love you hope!

  3. Fashionable H&M product! #winning!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s