on desire, disappointment, and christmas eve:

Every year since 2012 I wholeheartedly believed I would get married that year. Without a doubt, January 1st would roll around and I would be like THIS IS IT!

12 months later, I would sit through a Christmas Eve service with tears streaming down my cheeks. There I was, single, surrounded by songs of pining and rejoicing, longing and hope. I only felt the longing, though. Longing and another year of disappointment.

Somehow I was always able to bounce back by New Year’s and believe, yet again, this was going to be my year.

5 times out of 5 I was wrong.

Then 2017 happened. The clock struck midnight and for the first time in my life I knew I would be getting married.

As I write this, I’ve been married for 3 months. It still doesn’t feel real. Tomorrow I’ll sit through my first Christmas Eve service as a married woman. No more tears of disappointment and deferred hope. It will be a holy moment indeed.

I still remember the pain though. It taught me. Stretched me. Strengthened me. Waiting on the Lord is a nice idea, but it takes on an entirely different meaning when you find yourself waiting and WAITING on something your heart desires.

This much I can say: the pain makes the promise so much better.

I can only imagine what it felt like when Jesus was born after all those years of longing…

“I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

If you are someone who finds yourself wracked with longing and desire, I pray this season strengthens you with ‘a thrill of hope.’ May your pain turn into your biggest blessing, even if you have to wait (and wait) for it.

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About Hope Naomi

Lover of all things tea and travel.
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One Response to on desire, disappointment, and christmas eve:

  1. Talia says:

    ❤️❤️❤️

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